Beautiful failure
by 3.Hill
Summary: There's a thin line between love and hate, but will they realize that before destroying each other? Jacob/Leah. I'm sorry, this story has been abandoned, anyone who wants to adopt it, is welcome to it. Sorry readers!
1. Hate me so I can love you

Jake and Leah fanfiction

**Hate me so I can love you**

I came by the Black house on my way to Sam's – Sam and Emily's I had to correct myself – when I saw Jacob on the porch. With quick strides, I marched to him.

"Jake, you're sulking _again_?" I rolled my eyes to emphasize that last word. "When are you gonna get it in your thick head? She probably already a leech like the others."

I loved pestering him, it always cheered me up. It was the only way, we talked to each other.

"Shut up!" Despite the retort, I continued: "Cold, stinking, forever lost!" I laughed coldly.

I saw Jake trying to steady himself and I felt a twisted kind of satisfaction.  
Then suddenly Jake turned and looked at me with furious eyes, scarred with traces of pain.  
"Why are you such a bitch?", he asked with a calm voice despite his blazing eyes.  
That question shocked me and I was at a loss of words for a minute; but then I regained my voice. "M… me? What about you?" "Don't change the subject, Leah."

All the anger had left his face, leaving behind rough pain.  
I started to crumble inside; but instead of crying, I started screaming angrily. "Do you really wanna know?! Think you can handle the truth, Jacob Black?!" I pronounced his name with a shocking amount of discontempt.

"Because you love her!" There was no way to mistake who I was talking about. "Because since I can't make you love me, it's better to make you hate me."

The screams turned into whispers as silent tears started to roll down my face. _His_ face on the other hand was frozen in shock. "Because anything is better than your indifference…"

That last sentence was so quiet I would've thought he hadn't heard it unless I hadn't seen him reach out. I craved for his touch but his hand stopped mid-air, face full of doubt.

I had to leave. I'd just poured my heart out without much reaction. The tears where no longer silent as I ran away. It didn't matter if they heard me sob, the pack would know soon enough.


	2. Daring, Beautiful

Daring, beautiful

**Daring, beautiful**

Sometimes Leah's permanent scowl would turn into a smile. It some what disturbed me that my automatic reaction to this was to grin. But I couldn't help it, it was stronger than me.  
Her smile always managed to _heal_ me, in a way.

Her smile wasn't like Bella's, shy, and it wasn't like mine, spreading all over my face. It was smaller, less radiant, daring and more troubled but not less beautiful.  
I always liked thinking she reserved that smile for me, even though I knew it wasn't true…  
She smiled like that to everyone.

Except when she smiled at Seth, then an element was added. It became more playful, teasing.

But even since she'd told me those faithful words, she didn't smile anymore. Not to me _or_ any of the others.

The pack had soon found out and Leah had become even more of an outcast.

Everyone eyed Leah with scepticism and me with pity. Everyone except Seth.  
Seth often looked like he could rip my head off and his thoughts weren't very much different. I had tried to apologize but it hadn't helped. Not that I didn't understand, he was protecting her.

I had to find a way to talk to Leah alone; but with her avoiding everyone, me especially, that was easier said than done…


	3. Harsh words, dry eyes

**Harsh words, dry eyes**

He had finally managed to corner me; in Sam and Emily's house of all places.  
Jake had entered and before I could make my escape, Emily had muttered something about running an errand and had exited the room, leaving us all alone.  
Jacob had looked at me with hurt eyes and smiled faintly at me, not even close to his usual grin.  
I could tell he was hurt but then again, so was I. And _he _was the one who had caused it.

"Hey, Leah." I immediately noticed his voice was raw and more husky then usual. "I've been looking to talk to you…" "I noticed." "So what you been up to?" He desperately tried to get a conversation going but I was not going to help him. "Not much."  
The silence that fell between us, solidified. I could see Jake getting even more uncomfortable. Good, just what he deserved.

Suddenly Jake lifted his eyes and looked at me. When he finally spoke his voice was as urgent as his eyes. "I'm sorry, Leah. I was taken by surprise, caught off guard… I didn't know how to react."

Fury ran through my veins. Was that the best he could come up with? I'd expected more from him. "Yeah, obviously! But _I_'m still the one who opened up and got hurt! _I_ have to face the pack everyday and hear what they think off me!"

Jake cringed at everything I said and I knew he knew they were true.

"I'm sorry. I never meant for that to happen. I don't think of you that way…" Jake's voice had become barely a whisper.

"Much good it does me now." The contempt in my voice made him take a step back. "Just leave, Jake. You've caused enough misery."

As he ran out of the house, tears started rolling down my face. Why did it hurt so much? And why did it make me want to be with him even more, despite the pain?

_Comments are exactly my brand of heroin! Please help me enable my addiction. :D_


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